Chocolate?? Yes! Chocolate is medicine. Research and study have shown that chocolate helps ease emotional stress. That’s why I let a friendship melt like a chocolate... It's delicious, but can be dangerous!
It was started when I broke up with my ex and I found myself alone. I was feeling down, sad, and angry. I was wondering how could I stop the pain? Some friends said "You'll meet someone better" or "Get over it!" Well I know that, no need to teach me... But in fact, it's more difficult to do. I went to mall, book store, café, watched movie, and met some girl friends just to make myself busy. But I failed!
A thought came in my mind when I was alone and desperate. I need someone else. I need someone to keep my mind off sadness. Yah, the fastest way to forget someone is spending time with someone, right? That's the answer! Well I'm not looking for a new boy friend that fast but at least I want to meet new people as much as I can. Let me say that I tried to be friends to see a possibility to go more.
So I met this guy in the end of August. A young man, below 30! It’s unusual for me coz usually I choose men older 5-15 years than my age. Ah who cares? That time the only reason I met him was trying to spend my day with someone. I need someone to make me smile and release the pain with laughter! And he’s good on that... he's funny!
This friend may seem like a solution to get over feelings of my sadness and loneliness. I think we're both lonely. But we don’t want to go far. I'm not ready for a relationship and he seems doesn’t want a commitment either. Or maybe we want someone but we feel that we are not really good enough for each other. Anyway we often met as friends.
Now the question is “Can a man and woman be just friends?” I would say yes if I didn’t get myself and him naked in the morning in his bed! I thought it was just an accident. We’re jumping in the bed when we’re both lonely, or maybe tired of waiting for the right person to come along (read the previous post: Suatu Pagi di Iris Paradise). We only need to get rid of boredom and loneliness. Hmmf... I don’t know what I have been doing. I let him to touch me, kiss me, and do all kinds of other things to me. Now I realized I have a "Cuddle Buddy".
It wasn’t my choice to be in this type of relationship. But now I don’t care. As I said that our friendship is like a chocolate. Unwrap the chocolate, taste and enjoy! It helps depression but it can bring harmful psychological affects as well. Chocolate addiction is hard to break!
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| Thanks to someone who gave me these chocolates today! :) |
